Speaking Out in Belfast

This weekend I attend the Soroptimist International Great Britain and Ireland Federation conference in Belfast this weekend, and spoke to an audience of over 1000 women keen to improve the world. I spoke about the WAGGGS 'Stop the Violence' campaign, the Girlguiding UK 'Girls in Action' project and how together we can achieve real change.

I think this may have been the biggest audience I've spoken to so far - but a very kind one as it was almost certain what I had to say would be well received. The proceedings were livestreamed and the video is available to view here.

Later this week I'll be attending the UN High Level Panel for the Post-2015 Agenda meeting in London as a youth participant, I hope to bring you an update from the event!

Redefining Violence

This week has seen the start of the Gender Based Violence Online Discussion, part of the civil society consultation for the framework that will emerge to take over from the Millennium Development Goals after 2015. It’s also only a few weeks since the announcement that the definition of domestic violence will be widened in the UK to include psychological abuse and violence against 16 and 17 year olds from next March. Both of these are good signs of the greater recognition being given to the serious issue of gender based violence.

This is particularly poignant for me this week after an incident where a previously abusive ex-partner of mine attempted to gain access to my Facebook profile information by posing as long lost relative. This fake profile attempted to friend my account, as well as sending requests to dozens of my Facebook friends. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and she’s previously used the information she could access through this connection to stalk me online and in person. Back then I was a naïve 19 year old who used all the courage I could gather to get out of that abusive relationship. I endured nearly a year of harassment after the relationship ended, not sure whether what I was subject to was a crime or how I could prove anything. Because that’s the thing about psychological abuse – it’s not even just blaming yourself, it gets to the point that you start questioning what’s happening to you at all. After almost 12 months of things escalating, I felt I had definite evidence - I told her if she didn’t stop I’d take this all to the police. And I didn’t hear from her again…well until this week.

This time I immediately reported the account through Facebook’s built-in reporting feature and 24 hours later the account was removed from the site. I’ve tightened my security settings too (even more than they were already).

And this is why I’m happy that people are discussing and redefining gender based violence. Yes it does happen in same-sex relationships, yes it does happen all over the world, yes it does happen to young people – relationship abuse doesn’t wait for an 18^th birthday! We need to talk about it so that generations to come grow up knowing what constitutes a healthy relationship, and feel empowered to deal with it as soon as it happens.

Obsessed with Image and Missing the Point

Yesterday I attended the Girlguiding UK Big Gig at the Sheffield Arena with a bunch of girls from my old unit in Peterborough. The atmosphere was amazing with 20,000 girls and their leaders enjoying a show that included JLS, Little Mix and Scouting for Girls. Flashing headwear, tonnes of dry ice, and a combined 5 hours of teenage screaming. Some very tired girls were returned home at the end of the day (me included).

I have to say that it’s one of the most enjoyable concerts I’ve been to recently. There‘s no drunken people behind drenching you in beer by throwing their drink at the stage. There’s no smoker catching you with a lit cigarette as they dance. And there’s no idiot kicking you in the head as they try to surf the crowd, which might not end in a head injury if they’re lucky. And that is what guiding is about – giving girls and young women the chance to take part in the activities they want to in a safe, girls-only environment.

Cue the first news articles today and what does the Daily Mail publish? A story about Little Mix’s trousers. It works through the female acts commenting on how they look (nothing about their music), then mentions the boy bands that “also performed”. I think this comment summarises my feelings about the article:

Who cares what she is wearing. She is performing to a group of girls whose values include not judging people by their appearance. All of the acts made the day amazing for the girls. Where is the report about the benefits of guiding and how the Big Gig is a great way for the singers to show their support. JLS returned for another show this year. Pixie Lott was slated in the press for wearing her Brownie uniform last year, but everyone in the crowd loved it and they are who count. Check out #biggig to see the real reviews.- MC, Lincs

Then comes the Mirror, which I have to say manages a bit of gender equality merely by focusing on all of the acts appearances. With the audacity to say:

Because Little Mix were there, looking all grown-up in super sexy little outfits. What would Brown Owl's equivalent at Guides who we can't remember the name of say to this?

I have to answer that I was far too busy wishing I could sing like these beautiful, healthy women to be bothered about what they were wearing. I suppose it’s debatable, but I wouldn’t use the word ‘little’ to describe what they were wearing (contrasted to the Mail who called one garment ‘huge’). I think they were very sensibly dressed for a performance including dancing…

I have to then commend SugarScope on their honesty:
As well as fanny about on the red carpet, the shiny celebs did some singing too. But, er, we weren’t there and nobody’s put any good videos up yet, so you’ll just have to imagine what that was like for now. Ahh, the joys of serious investigative journalism... *waits to be sacked *

It’s not a new complaint that the press is image obsessed and often more so towards women than men. I just hope that the girls who attended who want to find out what their peers thought follow the comments advice and look up #biggig2012 on twitter and don’t obsess about a few pieces of clothing.

Well done Girlguiding UK on another fantastic event!

A Little Bit of Inspiration

Mark Twain is quoted as saying – “I never let my schooling get in the way of my education”. And having dropped out of school at the age of 13, I have to say a great deal of my education has come from guiding and it has certainly given me an appetite to explore the world. Apparently I was a quiet and shy Rainbow. Who’d believe that now?

I remember being a Brownie, playing games with postcards from far off places, and creating miniature uniforms of other guide associations for thinking day. As a guide I went to Bridges and county events, camping alongside girls from India, Australia and the Caribbean. Come age 14 I went with guiding groups to Switzerland and the Netherlands, before having the confidence to travel to Austria and Ghana on my own.

Fast forward to 2010, and the experience at the first Young Women’s World Forum that really did change my life. That’s when I realise just how easy it is to change the world – especially when you do it through guiding.

At university I’d studied the Millennium Development Goals and read countless dry journal articles reporting the impossibility of meeting these targets, talking about people as numbers, as percentages. They seemed like a distant fantasy of a better life for a far off land.

But that all changed.

200 young women from over 90 countries; gathered in one hotel in Oxfordshire. And the stories I heard about genital cutting is Sierra Leone to pay inequalities in New Zealand made the connection that the goals aren’t about numbers, they’re about people. Even if a project makes a difference to just 1 person, 1 girl or young woman, then we have to do it. Guiding meetings every week, in every country, grow that girl’s confidence by a little bit, teaches her that skill that will come back to her in a moment of need in later life, and gives her friends to call upon for support.

At the Young Women’s World Forum, I met a woman who taught me a lot about inspiration too - Leymah Gbowee. She pretty much ended the civil war in Liberia, aided by her skills as a public speaker. One thing she said was that “small steps, create a huge impact, and leave a lifetime legacy. Small Steps, Huge Impact, Lifetime legacy.” Even the smallest step is a journey, and the best way to take somebody on a journey is with a story…

From there I was inspired to find a way to make a bigger impact and leave an even greater legacy. I utilised what I knew about social media and my network of guiding contacts to campaign through social media, and when I found the opportunity to go to the UN with WAGGGS I emailed the International Commissioner asking her to approve my application.
I got a phone call just before Christmas from CHQ, saying they didn’t plan on sending anybody after bad feedback from previous attendees, but they’d find £500 towards my flight if I’d pay the rest and cover all my own expenses in New York. I had a dream to speak at the UN and a mission to make the world better for girls by sharing the stories I’ve heard. I saved up my wages and student loan, and mid-February I was wandering through central park.

I co-chaired a panel discussion with women from Soroptimist International, analysed texts and lobbied government negotiators. I learnt a lot about international politics and the workings of the UN that week and was thirsty for more.

Earlier this year I went back to the Commission on the Status of Women and then to the Rio+20 conference, both as an Event Co-ordinator for WAGGGS – a more senior role within the delegation where I mentored other young women. I achieved my dream of speaking at the UN, and met many inspiring people along the way.

In Rio, together the representatives of children and young people got Non-formal education – the method of guiding and scouting- into a UN outcome document agreed to by heads of state. And I personally pestered the DEFRA minister, Caroline Spelman, enough to get Sexual and reproductive rights mentioned in Nick Clegg’s speech to the UN. These are great successes that benefit people, and guides in particular, all around the world.

But actually, the most dramatic outcome for me, is that this journey has helped me to understand past events in my own life especially around leaving an abusive relationship and has given me the skills to deal with other experiences.

A project is worth doing even if it helps improve the life of just one person, 1 girl or young woman. At the end of this story, I had originally set out to make the world a little fairer for our sisters around the world, and along the way all those women, you women, have helped me to understand myself. Thank you.