6 Weeks at Camp Without Even 1 Wash

I joined my new local gym today, and in pursuit of finding the right attire for such a venture I emptied out the contents of the 2 bags I'd yet to unpack from my house move onto my bedroom floor. Come this evening when it's time to try and fit them into the wardrobe and it turns out I have enough 'camp wear' acquired through Guiding and other pursuits to kit myself out for nigh on 6 weeks without a single load of laundry needed - that is discounting the fact I don't have that much underwear or bottom halfs.

I know this is way more than I could possibly ever wear - and a similar experience 6 or 7 years made me recycle that collection into a blanket for camping. I will probably ultimately do the same with these shirts as they hold a lot of meaning for me. They are momentos of some of the most transformative events of my life. So before I attack them with scissors or stuff them in the wardrobe until my next free weekend, I want to give you a run down of 6 of the most notable examples.

1. Orange. This one is the most recent and is my mud-stained staff team shirt from the Gig In A Field 2012 event where I chaired the planning team. I learnt a lot about people management, event management, and leadership through the two Gigs in Fields I worked on - skills that have helped me at uni, in my volunteering and in my paid work. The mud stains are particularly reflective - we took a running slide through a mud puddle after the closing ceremony - I believe I'm better at what I do, when I enjoy doing it and have fun along the way.

2. Red. I went to Ghana for 5 weeks in 2007 with a gap year volunteering company. I was 17, the youngest age they'd take, and didn't know anyone before I left the UK. It really opened my eyes to the realities of Africa that don't necessarily transmit when you grow up with the charity infomercials about war and famine. The people I met were happy in their lives, but aspired to be and have more. I taught english, built toilets and travelled on weekends. I was very much out of my comfort zone, and was lifechanging for better and worse...

3. Pink. Young Women's World Forum 2010. My life was pretty much a mess from when I got back from Ghana until this event. This week in October 2010 was the catalyst for everything I've done since - setting up this project, getting involved with WAGGGS work, speaking out. That week I learnt one major thing: it's no use dwelling on the bad things that have happened, each of us has the ability to learn from them, take action and change the world for the better - for ourselves and for other people.

4. Purple. National Academy of Gifted and Talented Youth Summer School 2005. I spent 3 weeks at Canterbury Christ Church University taking part in a course entitled 'Global Citizenship'. This is what inspired me to go travel at the earliest opportunity (to Ghana) and to consider Geography as a subject to study at university. It really showed me that young people have a great potential that, when directed, achieves amazing things. It also showed me that using your brain isn't a bad thing - nobody was teased for being a boffin, we can learn col stuff from each other.

5. Blue. ASSK Chair. I chaired the youth forum in Girlguidng Anglia from February 2008 until September 2012. As an organisation for girls and young women, I believe we need to listen to what they want, that's just common sense. So in those 4 and a half years I ran a lot of consultations, spent a great deal of time listening, and translating those wants into reports and letters to various committees and people. I also tried to turned those wants into the events and programmes that young women had asked for. It taught me about diplomacy, how to talk to different groups of people and that if your gut tells you it's the right thing, you really ought to argue your corner. Never be afraid to speak up - there's probably hundred of people who want to say the same thing but who don't have the voice to do it.

6. Green. Wicked. I organised a theatre trip for 1200 ish members of Girlguiding to see the musical Wicked in London, and then very nearly didn't make it myself. We stayed at a hostel in Waterloo, cigarette smoke brought on an asthma attack and we walked in cold temperatures to the hospital A+E round the corner. I was there until 2am or so. With the all clear I returned to the hostel and promptly had a massive nosebleed. With next to no sleep and feeling rather worse for wear I made it to the theatre to see over a thousand excited faces queueing outside. In my seat I nearly fell asleep at several points even though I was really enjoying the show. At the end I was surprised with an award for my Youth Participation work and I really was speechless. I was honoured by the award, completely overwhelmed with emotions and exhaustion, and just felt like crying. I couldn't say it then, so I want to make sure all the people involved in nominating me for that award know that it means a lot to me.

Ever object tells a story. Now I've shared six of mine.

But Those Are Boys Pants...

I’ve come to realise that I want to dress like an 8 year old boy. It’s something that strikes me whenever we take a trip to a clothing store that caters for multiple ages and genders. And I think I’m probably achieving this look as I head out in the snow piling up from the blizzard Nemo. I know my utmost motivation is to be comfortable in what I’m wearing. But I’ve never quite figured how much this has to do with an outward expression of my gender identity, and how much it relates to one of my disabilities – dyspraxia. It often makes me feel uncomfortable in whatever I’m wearing (I have been known to get changed 4 or 5 times a day if I’m particularly anxious) and I wonder whether clothing designed for boys of that age is designed for a freedom of movement, hence its appeal. So to backtrack, my motivation from this blog post is the discovery of ‘boyfriend style’ boxer shorts as my new favourite form of underwear. I had previously been wearing men’s boxers as I find them comfortable and warm in a cold winter – though there is a need to size up to allow for female hips which leaves space elsewhere. My partner couldn’t understand my preference for this type of underwear and on a visit to Target I found women’s boxers in the US have much more generous sizing than I’ve ever found in the UK. I’m thankful of the discovery of warm, comfortable underwear that allows for hips with no extra space elsewhere. Though I don’t understand why it needs to be branded ‘boyfriend style’. Now let’s hope the realisation that there are women who aren’t stick thin who enjoy wearing this kind of underwear reaches the UK soon. I mean, even with my passion for their fashion, I am most definitely not the size of an 8 year old, regardless of gender. I wasn’t even the size of an 8 year old when I was 8 - as the giant in the midst of my rugby team photo from that season will testify. From an early age I was crossing those department boundaries, especially in search of shoes. The gendering of clothing is something that has never made sense to me. Yes, it is rather convenient to have underwear designed for the particular genitalia you have – it fits better. But every other dimension of a person varies so much that to say the type of clothing you wear is dictated by your genitalia is nonsensical. Clothing does far more than ‘fit’ though. Every garment makes a statement about your personality, your gender, your social reading of the occasion, wealth, class, taste and so much more – whether you consciously think about it or not. This is why I think uniformed youth organisations can play a huge role in challenging gender inequalities. Ever since the inception of guiding and scouting the uniform has been a tool for breaking down barriers of wealth and class. Other barriers are less successfully crossed – I always felt a little like the odd one out as I was a much larger 9 year old than the organisation clearly expected and I turned up each week in culottes that my mother had made especially for me. They were as closely matched to what the other girls wore, but still quite distinguishable. In early days, yes, the uniform was probably something of a trade-off – guides can wear something functional, but not too functional. You can hike as long as you can do it in a skirt down to your ankle. If I’d had to wear a little brown dress I probably wouldn’t have stuck with Brownies. So I should be thankful that I’m a child of the 1990’s, old enough to thank Jeff Banks for the introduction of hoodies. So my theory. When girls and young women turn up to guiding activities and don’t need to use their clothes to display their gender (and actually have that freedom to not have to behave in a way that would be deemed ‘feminine’), it gives them space to grow, to build confidence in new activities and realise their abilities. The operation of gender in a single-sex environment probably is more complex than this, but I still think it gives an important space. Being a girl guide taught me that I can achieve more if I wear sensible and appropriate clothing for the activity. If keeping myself warm in a Massachusetts winter means wearing men’s or ‘boyfriend’ underwear, then so be it.