Stand Up and Stand Together

For the last two years I have been part of the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts delegation to the United Nation Commission of the Status of Women in New York and witnessed the international women’s movement in action. Last year there was already a buzz about how big and important this year’s event is going to be, so I have no doubt that what Lynne Featherstone, UK Minister for Development, says in this article is true. 2013 can be the turning point. This year’s theme is ending violence against women and girls, and whilst I won’t be in New York this March, I will follow the event from afar and contributing what I can online – especially through social media. The draft agreed conclusions (the document that governments will be negotiating during the event) are already up on the UN Women website, and from an initial reading there is some really great stuff in there. That’s no guarantee it will still be there by the end of the two weeks, as last year’s failure to arrive at any agreement demonstrates. A lot of the language is based on previously agreed UN texts, resolutions and platforms for action – a good sign that the text should remain in this document, but also a glaring testament to the lack of progress made despite these agreements. We need action, not words, or at least words that inspire action. Yesterday I took part in the nearest gathering for the One Billion Rising campaign (http://onebillionrising.org/) – a campaign successful in achieving people to think, speak and act the world over. Check Google, your favourite news sites, or indeed probably your local paper and you’ll find reports of what Eve Ensler inspired people to do. And standing on Main Street, holding the banner between representatives from the police force and the health department, I could feel the solidarity in the air. I’ve blogged about my experiences of this topic before, and reading this article last month got me thinking again about how we tackle this pandemic of violence that infiltrates ever corner of the planet. I agree that the culture, expectations and social norms are at the root of the problem, but this is a real problem that is happening right now – we can’t divert resources away from the front line sources helping those survivors, but we need to tackle the cause. The statistics are appalling. In the UK we have a really low conviction rate, extra-long times to process the cases, extremely low rates of reporting the crime to the police, and all of this whilst 1 in 5 women will be on the receiving end of a sexual offence during their lifetime. So what would I suggest we do? Give. Funds and other resources are tight for your local services. If you want to make sure that you, your relatives, your friends or that person you passed in the street today has somewhere to go, and someone to turn to when they need it – you need to support the services right now. I don’t advocate turning up and dumping the things you don’t want any more on their doorstep – get it touch and see what you can provide that they might need. Time, money, or something else. Talk. We need to end this taboo. I’ve been affected by violence based on my gender, but I don’t need pity. Sometimes I do need the support of the people around me – the knowledge that I can talk to them and they won’t judge me. We can break the silence. Everyday Sexism is a great project doing just that. Check out their tweets showing how prolific those little instances of gender based violence are, and some women’s ways of countering it. Act. It takes more than words to see the problem, and when learn a lot more through what we do. If you work with a class, youth group, scout or guide unit or any kind of group at all (young or old) then there are lots of resources out there that can help you use activities to approach the topic and start the conversation. The World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts are bringing their ‘Stop the Violence’ activity pack out soon, and Girlguiding UK in partnership with AVA have recently released a Girls in Action pack on the same topic. You can download it from here. Whatever you do – stand up, and stand together.

But Those Are Boys Pants...

I’ve come to realise that I want to dress like an 8 year old boy. It’s something that strikes me whenever we take a trip to a clothing store that caters for multiple ages and genders. And I think I’m probably achieving this look as I head out in the snow piling up from the blizzard Nemo. I know my utmost motivation is to be comfortable in what I’m wearing. But I’ve never quite figured how much this has to do with an outward expression of my gender identity, and how much it relates to one of my disabilities – dyspraxia. It often makes me feel uncomfortable in whatever I’m wearing (I have been known to get changed 4 or 5 times a day if I’m particularly anxious) and I wonder whether clothing designed for boys of that age is designed for a freedom of movement, hence its appeal. So to backtrack, my motivation from this blog post is the discovery of ‘boyfriend style’ boxer shorts as my new favourite form of underwear. I had previously been wearing men’s boxers as I find them comfortable and warm in a cold winter – though there is a need to size up to allow for female hips which leaves space elsewhere. My partner couldn’t understand my preference for this type of underwear and on a visit to Target I found women’s boxers in the US have much more generous sizing than I’ve ever found in the UK. I’m thankful of the discovery of warm, comfortable underwear that allows for hips with no extra space elsewhere. Though I don’t understand why it needs to be branded ‘boyfriend style’. Now let’s hope the realisation that there are women who aren’t stick thin who enjoy wearing this kind of underwear reaches the UK soon. I mean, even with my passion for their fashion, I am most definitely not the size of an 8 year old, regardless of gender. I wasn’t even the size of an 8 year old when I was 8 - as the giant in the midst of my rugby team photo from that season will testify. From an early age I was crossing those department boundaries, especially in search of shoes. The gendering of clothing is something that has never made sense to me. Yes, it is rather convenient to have underwear designed for the particular genitalia you have – it fits better. But every other dimension of a person varies so much that to say the type of clothing you wear is dictated by your genitalia is nonsensical. Clothing does far more than ‘fit’ though. Every garment makes a statement about your personality, your gender, your social reading of the occasion, wealth, class, taste and so much more – whether you consciously think about it or not. This is why I think uniformed youth organisations can play a huge role in challenging gender inequalities. Ever since the inception of guiding and scouting the uniform has been a tool for breaking down barriers of wealth and class. Other barriers are less successfully crossed – I always felt a little like the odd one out as I was a much larger 9 year old than the organisation clearly expected and I turned up each week in culottes that my mother had made especially for me. They were as closely matched to what the other girls wore, but still quite distinguishable. In early days, yes, the uniform was probably something of a trade-off – guides can wear something functional, but not too functional. You can hike as long as you can do it in a skirt down to your ankle. If I’d had to wear a little brown dress I probably wouldn’t have stuck with Brownies. So I should be thankful that I’m a child of the 1990’s, old enough to thank Jeff Banks for the introduction of hoodies. So my theory. When girls and young women turn up to guiding activities and don’t need to use their clothes to display their gender (and actually have that freedom to not have to behave in a way that would be deemed ‘feminine’), it gives them space to grow, to build confidence in new activities and realise their abilities. The operation of gender in a single-sex environment probably is more complex than this, but I still think it gives an important space. Being a girl guide taught me that I can achieve more if I wear sensible and appropriate clothing for the activity. If keeping myself warm in a Massachusetts winter means wearing men’s or ‘boyfriend’ underwear, then so be it.

On My Bike And Cycling Uphill

Despite the title I’m not, in fact, talking about my sporting pursuits of late. I do have a bee in my bonnet about trying to find a job though.

My current employment contract (last renewed 4 months ago) comes to an end tomorrow and I have been submitting applications at a rate of over one per day for the last two weeks in an attempt to have a job lined up for when I return to the UK at the start of March. Up to that point it’d been a slighter slower, but not insignificant, rate of 1 or 2 a month since I started working on my MA dissertation in the late spring of 2012. I managed to pick up a temporary contract that helped to make ends meet while I finished studying and that has been renewed and continued since. But tomorrow it ends.

I know it could be said that I am in a more fortunate position that many other 22 year old job seekers – my level of education means I’m looking at jobs that do command a salary significantly above a living wage when I finally do get employment. I know that the minimum wage jobs many are desperately seeking just to be earning don’t actually pay enough to live on when you find one – or if they do supposedly ‘per hour’, they don’t come with any guarantees of those hours from one week to the next. I don’t want to bore you with the countless statistics that tell you how many 16-25 year olds are unemployed. What I’m concerned about is how this problem is making people feel.

Every rejection message digs away at your confidence, every unsuccessful interview makes you questions your own abilities, and every time I hear someone say ‘there was another candidate with more professional experience, would you consider doing an unpaid internship with us?’ I actually just want to cry. I’ve been working in office environments since I was temping at 16, I’ve volunteered since I was 12. I’m now 22. I’d like to turn around and ask how I’m meant to have more professional experience than somebody who’s been legally allowed to work for 4 times as long as me – but that would probably do nothing to help me get a job.

I even got turned down for a 3 month paid internship with that organisation I have volunteered for since I was 12 – apparently I didn’t have enough workplace experience… Now, sorry one moment, but I thought that was what an internship was designed for? What you actually wanted was a 3 month temp.

I know that when I fill out application forms, or answer questions in interviews, I sometimes sound a little desperate for a job. And I know that usually costs me the job. But for somebody who desperately wants to work and has been turned down so many times, it’s difficult to want to play this like it’s a game.

Lately I’ve found some employers have this little clause that gives me false expectations. There’s now a little check box that I see more and more: we guarantee an interview to any person with a disability who meets the minimum requirements of the role.  I am a person with disabilities – not significant enough to stop me working, but significant enough that I am affected by them. I have asthma, I have IBS (currently preventing me from eating dairy, egg, gluten, and red meat), I have dyspraxia, but it is dyslexia that I think disadvantages me in this process. Basically, I find filling out forms really difficult – the words and boxes swim across the page and it takes me as much effort to remember my first name as the date and awarding body of my Latin GCSE when it comes to write it in the right place.

So yes I’m grateful of any opportunity to hop to the front of the queue and try to show how I’m the best candidate during an interview. But then I wonder if this gives me false expectations. As I got a bye in the first round am I automatically seeded last before the interview begins? Would I have even been close to the short-list if there wasn’t this positive discrimination box to tick? I still have my doubts.

The disability doesn’t have to be specifically related to form filling, so there’s a big flaw in the concept. For example maybe I’ll find a form that lets you score points for every under-represented characteristic. Maybe something in the STEM industries: I’m female, check, multiple disabilities, check, LGBTQI+, check, went to an inner city primary school, check. Just got to keep my fingers crossed there’s no BME candidate to pip me at the post. Though then I’d in all likelihood end up in a misogynistic and xenophobic environment where actually I’d rather be unemployed than work for them. Let’s change the culture, not the application process. I remain on the fence about positive discrimination.

Time to get back on my bike. A way to make blogging into my own little business is just around the corner, maybe…

A Long Flight But A Good Week

I didn't have time to blog in 2 places whilst I was at the Global Youth Forum, so all my entries from the event itself can be found on the WAGGGS website at http://www.wagggs.org/en/globalyouthforum/blog.

There were some very great things about the event. The thirst for progress and better lives for the members of their communities was evident from all the yougn people who attended.
However I feel one thing was lacking. There was no space to talk about the specific measures that young people are already employing to improve their world. The Bali Declaration - the document coming out of the forum - has lots of broad statements about what governments should do and what the UN should do. And maybe they'll get round to doing that in 10 years time.

So as my follow up action, I want to put these demands in the hands of young people today, to open a platform to discuss what we're already doing, how that can be expanded and built upon, and how we can start seeing the change today.

Join the discussion for 5 days in January on Facebook. You can join the event at https://www.facebook.com/events/534602049885251/ and tell the world about the change you are making, or be inspired by somebody on the other side of the world.
I look forward to seeing you there.

Home is where I hang my Hat

At of the start of November I began a 3 month adventure living in the USA. 2.5 weeks in, I’ve visited 3 states (Maine and New Hampshire, from my base in Massachusetts)…

And now when I come to write the rest of the post we’ve got up to 3 weeks already. Life moves fast when you’re not looking. In the meantime I’ve been working at my new job, figuring out life in a new house/new town/new country, and coming to terms with how life is different when you share your house with a) a dog, and b) a baby niece-in-law.

I have to say that life has probably sped past because the going is good.

Later this week I’ll be swapping the rapidly dropping temperatures of the North Atlantic coast for sunnier conditions over the other side of the Pacific. I’m off to Bali to facilitate and participate in the Global Youth Forum – an event organised by the United Nations Population Fund as part of the 20 years review of the Programme for Action from the International Conference on Population and Development (it took place in Cairo in 1994).

You can find more info about the event at http://icpdyouth.org/ and can take part in this event too – from the comfort of your own home (no jet lag to contend with).

This review process is going to (hopefully) link together with the Millennium Development Goals review process in the lead up to their expiry in 2015. In my mind the best outcome would be a single set of goals for development that thoroughly encompass a human rights based approach and can be applied to address the inequalities in Western Europe as easily as for ensuring basic needs are met in Eastern Africa.

I’ll have more updates (I plan) in the next two weeks.

If I may interrupt you for a moment, Mr Chair…

This was the recurrent theme of the opening for the Youth Session where High Level Panel members asked what we would like to see in the Post-2015 agenda – the framework that will replace the Millennium Development Goals in 3 years’ time. Nick Hartley, Chief Executive of Restless Development (a youth led development organisation), was five times interrupted by young people – myself included – in his attempt to set out a conventional view of what youth need from development. My point of order? ‘Young People need to learn about sex…’

Oh no, Mr Chair, I think you underestimate the situation. My reply started as follows:

“Whilst we do need greater knowledge; more importantly everybody, young and old, need to recognise, understand, and have assured, their sexual and reproductive health and rights. Attitudes to sexuality, sexual orientation and reproductive health are changing and these need to be recognised in the development agenda in order to halt abuses such as early marriage and relationship violence…”

I went on to highlight the issues of sex trafficking and the role of abuse by older men (including teachers) in causing teenage pregnancy, before finishing:

“It’s not just the clinic as a building standing there, but the provision of a confidential, safe space, where visitors, regardless of gender, won’t be judged.”

Michelle Alvarez, another WAGGGS representative in the group, went on to highlight some of these safe spaces provided within Guiding and Girl Scouting. She talked about a Peer Educating project in the Philippines funded by the UNFPA and in which she had taken part. Something similar is gaining momentum in the UK, with the Ministry of Health supporting a project run by our Peer Educators to tackle risky teenage behaviours around sex, alcohol and drugs.

I felt the room was receptive to what I, and all the other young people present, had to say. And the reference of some of our issues, particularly relating to formal and non-formal education, in the plenary meeting with all civil society that followed is a sure sign that notes were taken and a lasting impression made.

On my way out of the building that evening I spoke to one of the staff members who had facilitated this panel meeting in London, and they were brimming with enthusiasm for the issues that we raised earlier in the day. They were also very optimistic that we had set a standard for youth engagement that should be carried on throughout the Post-2015 consultations and panel meetings that will culminate in a report to the Secretary General, Ban-Ki Moon, in May 2013.

So please seize this opportunity for youth to shape the development agenda through applying to attend panel meetings, taking part in country consultations, and online at www.theworldwewant2015.org .

After all it is us youth who shall implement and be responsible for the outcomes of these goals.

Speaking Out in Belfast

This weekend I attend the Soroptimist International Great Britain and Ireland Federation conference in Belfast this weekend, and spoke to an audience of over 1000 women keen to improve the world. I spoke about the WAGGGS 'Stop the Violence' campaign, the Girlguiding UK 'Girls in Action' project and how together we can achieve real change.

I think this may have been the biggest audience I've spoken to so far - but a very kind one as it was almost certain what I had to say would be well received. The proceedings were livestreamed and the video is available to view here.

Later this week I'll be attending the UN High Level Panel for the Post-2015 Agenda meeting in London as a youth participant, I hope to bring you an update from the event!

Redefining Violence

This week has seen the start of the Gender Based Violence Online Discussion, part of the civil society consultation for the framework that will emerge to take over from the Millennium Development Goals after 2015. It’s also only a few weeks since the announcement that the definition of domestic violence will be widened in the UK to include psychological abuse and violence against 16 and 17 year olds from next March. Both of these are good signs of the greater recognition being given to the serious issue of gender based violence.

This is particularly poignant for me this week after an incident where a previously abusive ex-partner of mine attempted to gain access to my Facebook profile information by posing as long lost relative. This fake profile attempted to friend my account, as well as sending requests to dozens of my Facebook friends. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and she’s previously used the information she could access through this connection to stalk me online and in person. Back then I was a naïve 19 year old who used all the courage I could gather to get out of that abusive relationship. I endured nearly a year of harassment after the relationship ended, not sure whether what I was subject to was a crime or how I could prove anything. Because that’s the thing about psychological abuse – it’s not even just blaming yourself, it gets to the point that you start questioning what’s happening to you at all. After almost 12 months of things escalating, I felt I had definite evidence - I told her if she didn’t stop I’d take this all to the police. And I didn’t hear from her again…well until this week.

This time I immediately reported the account through Facebook’s built-in reporting feature and 24 hours later the account was removed from the site. I’ve tightened my security settings too (even more than they were already).

And this is why I’m happy that people are discussing and redefining gender based violence. Yes it does happen in same-sex relationships, yes it does happen all over the world, yes it does happen to young people – relationship abuse doesn’t wait for an 18^th birthday! We need to talk about it so that generations to come grow up knowing what constitutes a healthy relationship, and feel empowered to deal with it as soon as it happens.

Obsessed with Image and Missing the Point

Yesterday I attended the Girlguiding UK Big Gig at the Sheffield Arena with a bunch of girls from my old unit in Peterborough. The atmosphere was amazing with 20,000 girls and their leaders enjoying a show that included JLS, Little Mix and Scouting for Girls. Flashing headwear, tonnes of dry ice, and a combined 5 hours of teenage screaming. Some very tired girls were returned home at the end of the day (me included).

I have to say that it’s one of the most enjoyable concerts I’ve been to recently. There‘s no drunken people behind drenching you in beer by throwing their drink at the stage. There’s no smoker catching you with a lit cigarette as they dance. And there’s no idiot kicking you in the head as they try to surf the crowd, which might not end in a head injury if they’re lucky. And that is what guiding is about – giving girls and young women the chance to take part in the activities they want to in a safe, girls-only environment.

Cue the first news articles today and what does the Daily Mail publish? A story about Little Mix’s trousers. It works through the female acts commenting on how they look (nothing about their music), then mentions the boy bands that “also performed”. I think this comment summarises my feelings about the article:

Who cares what she is wearing. She is performing to a group of girls whose values include not judging people by their appearance. All of the acts made the day amazing for the girls. Where is the report about the benefits of guiding and how the Big Gig is a great way for the singers to show their support. JLS returned for another show this year. Pixie Lott was slated in the press for wearing her Brownie uniform last year, but everyone in the crowd loved it and they are who count. Check out #biggig to see the real reviews.- MC, Lincs

Then comes the Mirror, which I have to say manages a bit of gender equality merely by focusing on all of the acts appearances. With the audacity to say:

Because Little Mix were there, looking all grown-up in super sexy little outfits. What would Brown Owl's equivalent at Guides who we can't remember the name of say to this?

I have to answer that I was far too busy wishing I could sing like these beautiful, healthy women to be bothered about what they were wearing. I suppose it’s debatable, but I wouldn’t use the word ‘little’ to describe what they were wearing (contrasted to the Mail who called one garment ‘huge’). I think they were very sensibly dressed for a performance including dancing…

I have to then commend SugarScope on their honesty:
As well as fanny about on the red carpet, the shiny celebs did some singing too. But, er, we weren’t there and nobody’s put any good videos up yet, so you’ll just have to imagine what that was like for now. Ahh, the joys of serious investigative journalism... *waits to be sacked *

It’s not a new complaint that the press is image obsessed and often more so towards women than men. I just hope that the girls who attended who want to find out what their peers thought follow the comments advice and look up #biggig2012 on twitter and don’t obsess about a few pieces of clothing.

Well done Girlguiding UK on another fantastic event!

A Little Bit of Inspiration

Mark Twain is quoted as saying – “I never let my schooling get in the way of my education”. And having dropped out of school at the age of 13, I have to say a great deal of my education has come from guiding and it has certainly given me an appetite to explore the world. Apparently I was a quiet and shy Rainbow. Who’d believe that now?

I remember being a Brownie, playing games with postcards from far off places, and creating miniature uniforms of other guide associations for thinking day. As a guide I went to Bridges and county events, camping alongside girls from India, Australia and the Caribbean. Come age 14 I went with guiding groups to Switzerland and the Netherlands, before having the confidence to travel to Austria and Ghana on my own.

Fast forward to 2010, and the experience at the first Young Women’s World Forum that really did change my life. That’s when I realise just how easy it is to change the world – especially when you do it through guiding.

At university I’d studied the Millennium Development Goals and read countless dry journal articles reporting the impossibility of meeting these targets, talking about people as numbers, as percentages. They seemed like a distant fantasy of a better life for a far off land.

But that all changed.

200 young women from over 90 countries; gathered in one hotel in Oxfordshire. And the stories I heard about genital cutting is Sierra Leone to pay inequalities in New Zealand made the connection that the goals aren’t about numbers, they’re about people. Even if a project makes a difference to just 1 person, 1 girl or young woman, then we have to do it. Guiding meetings every week, in every country, grow that girl’s confidence by a little bit, teaches her that skill that will come back to her in a moment of need in later life, and gives her friends to call upon for support.

At the Young Women’s World Forum, I met a woman who taught me a lot about inspiration too - Leymah Gbowee. She pretty much ended the civil war in Liberia, aided by her skills as a public speaker. One thing she said was that “small steps, create a huge impact, and leave a lifetime legacy. Small Steps, Huge Impact, Lifetime legacy.” Even the smallest step is a journey, and the best way to take somebody on a journey is with a story…

From there I was inspired to find a way to make a bigger impact and leave an even greater legacy. I utilised what I knew about social media and my network of guiding contacts to campaign through social media, and when I found the opportunity to go to the UN with WAGGGS I emailed the International Commissioner asking her to approve my application.
I got a phone call just before Christmas from CHQ, saying they didn’t plan on sending anybody after bad feedback from previous attendees, but they’d find £500 towards my flight if I’d pay the rest and cover all my own expenses in New York. I had a dream to speak at the UN and a mission to make the world better for girls by sharing the stories I’ve heard. I saved up my wages and student loan, and mid-February I was wandering through central park.

I co-chaired a panel discussion with women from Soroptimist International, analysed texts and lobbied government negotiators. I learnt a lot about international politics and the workings of the UN that week and was thirsty for more.

Earlier this year I went back to the Commission on the Status of Women and then to the Rio+20 conference, both as an Event Co-ordinator for WAGGGS – a more senior role within the delegation where I mentored other young women. I achieved my dream of speaking at the UN, and met many inspiring people along the way.

In Rio, together the representatives of children and young people got Non-formal education – the method of guiding and scouting- into a UN outcome document agreed to by heads of state. And I personally pestered the DEFRA minister, Caroline Spelman, enough to get Sexual and reproductive rights mentioned in Nick Clegg’s speech to the UN. These are great successes that benefit people, and guides in particular, all around the world.

But actually, the most dramatic outcome for me, is that this journey has helped me to understand past events in my own life especially around leaving an abusive relationship and has given me the skills to deal with other experiences.

A project is worth doing even if it helps improve the life of just one person, 1 girl or young woman. At the end of this story, I had originally set out to make the world a little fairer for our sisters around the world, and along the way all those women, you women, have helped me to understand myself. Thank you.