Drive-by Homo...philia?

The beautiful beach at Wells-Next-The-Sea

This weekend, being close to valentine's day, my partner and I had a short break on the North Norfolk coast. The weather forecast was not great, and when it came to it the wind was gusting and the showers kept passing through. But our dog needed to walk and so we headed out on Holkham Beach in the direction of Wells. Now this could be just a lovely post about what turned out to be a very energising and refreshing walk along the coast, but it's about a very specific incident that happened during that walk.

Crossing the Beach Car Park at Wells, about to start on the return two mile journey back to the car, a dark blue car pulled up to my partner and I and the driver rolled down the window.

'It's so great to see you two holding hands!'

We were slightly taken aback and not sure we heard correctly, but they repeated it again for us. By this point our dog had taken an interest in her dogs so much so that she was up on her hind legs peering in the oen window. We thanked her for the observation, exchanged some comments about the impending rain clouds and then headed in our separate directions. It took a while to actully sink in that a complete stranger had stopped purposefully to thank us for being out in public.

We hadn't even really noticed we were doing it, its not really a big deal concious decision we make to hold hands when we're out on a walk with the dog - though obviously sometimes we do make the concious decision not to.

An Experience to Remember

And now, four days later, the memory of that experience brings a smile to my face. Some might think that it's intrusive and presumptious to approach to two strangers in a car park with such a comment, but actually it makes a really nice change. I could reel off a long list of times when I've been subject to strangers shouting homophobic comments across the street, in a park or in a pub. They are generally incidents I do my best to brush off and instantly forget, but that never works completely. It always leaves the feeling of being different, being hated, and being worthless.

For the rest of the walk we were on a high. We were still saying 'I can't believe that just happened' two miles and three rain showers later when we finally got back to the car. Instead of being degraded in public, our Saturday had been brightened by a comment that made us feel valid, appreciated and in a way 'normal'.

I know this last point is debatable - why would she draw attention to it if it is seen as 'normal' behaviour - but it shows the direction we are moving in as a society, I hope.

One day I hope my partner and I holding hands in public won't ever draw a second glance, but for now I'd rather be thanked for it than insulted.