Reflections on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity at the World Conference on Youth

I've now been back in the UK for one week and I don't think I've still completely processed the intense experience that was the World Conference on Youth. There was a lot of talking, not a lot of sleeping, and hundreds of amazing people that I met and got to know. Here are my lasting reflections on the 7 days in Sri Lanka:

Speaking to the Gender Equality session on Wednesday.

1. We've got a long way to go on sexual orientation and gender identity. During the conference my time was divided between facilitating sessions to understand what youth participants wanted from the outcomes and attending the negotiations with the government representatives to influence the outcome document. The majority of young people (not all) were all for including a mention of sexual orientation and gender identity in the outcome document and that enthusiasm for protecting this marginalised group carried across to a number of government delegations. There was the inevitable split in countries that wanted to see this term included and those who really didn't - in the end the last mention was removed in the very last discussion before negotiations closed and there was nothing I could say or do by that point to keep it in.

2. Nobody knows what they're arguing about. The reason the last mention in the text had to go was that none of the countries involved really got the issue they were having this battle of wills about. We started by putting in 'LGBTIQ' everywhere. I applaud the enthusiasm but this term is not inclusive and it hashes together the separate but interrelated issues of sexual orientation and gender identity. Working out some better language through our youth negotiators the proposition of 'all gender identities' and 'sexual orientation' in various paragraphs at least started to make some sense. But when you sit down to a discussion where its considered that gender can incorporate both sex and sexual orientation yo know that the nuances are not understood.

3. We've got to be more tactical. When homosexuality is still criminalised in many countries, we will not succeed in suggesting that diverse sexual orientations should be celebrated. If we can implement the UN Human Rights Council's resolution on ending violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity and moving towards decriminalisation that is the first step. I know it hardly sounds ambitious but if efforts within platforms like the World Conference on Youth focused on calling for the implementation of this one idea we might take this first small step towards something great.

4. We can achieve a lot even when we don't get everything. It's disheartening to see progressive language being deleted left, right and centre, but having taken stock since the conference I can see that what was left behind is still pretty amazing. Yes, perhaps people became so focused on getting sexual orientation out of the text that they didn't notice what else was left in. We talk about gender, other gender identities' and gender based violence in lots of places within the Colombo Declaration on Youth. We also make strong points about girls, women and violence against them.

5. Its a game, but its still personal. Any process negotiated with governments is going to move one step at a time. It's like a game of chess, you've got to keep your eye on the end goal, but you won't get there in just one move. Changing a word here and there can make all the difference, but will still feel like no difference at all on a personal level. 'Diverse sexual orientations and gender identities' aren't just an abstract concept, they're a daily lived experience for me, and stepping away from the conference on my way to board the plane home was a stark reminder of how much I want to get to check mate ASAP.

My gender expression (the clothes that I wear, other aspects of my appearance and mannerisms) is fluid - this is why I define myself as queer. I will wear dresses and skirts to look smart and particularly when representing of the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts as a time when the 'young woman' part of 'queer young woman' needs to be at the fore. I wore dresses and skirts and leggings for the duration of the conference but chose to travel home in a preferred outfit of baggy jeans and tank top. As I went through airport security and the metal detector sounded for nearly everybody we were patted down. I stepped to the side of the female airport official. She looked at my puzzled and then proceeded to touch me very inappropriately. After too close an investigation between my legs she laughed something to her colleague about 'not sure a woman or a man' and waved me to pick up my bag. I didn't tell anybody I was with at the time - I'd just been brought down to earth with a bump and was full of memories of previous incidents.

6. We need to taking action too. Talking about words on a page is a slow, but I will admit necessary, process to eventually achieve change - but in the meantime, we also need grassroots action to change hearts and minds.