Thursday, 31 January 2013

On My Bike And Cycling Uphill

Despite the title I’m not, in fact, talking about my sporting pursuits of late. I do have a bee in my bonnet about trying to find a job though.

My current employment contract (last renewed 4 months ago) comes to an end tomorrow and I have been submitting applications at a rate of over one per day for the last two weeks in an attempt to have a job lined up for when I return to the UK at the start of March. Up to that point it’d been a slighter slower, but not insignificant, rate of 1 or 2 a month since I started working on my MA dissertation in the late spring of 2012. I managed to pick up a temporary contract that helped to make ends meet while I finished studying and that has been renewed and continued since. But tomorrow it ends.

I know it could be said that I am in a more fortunate position that many other 22 year old job seekers – my level of education means I’m looking at jobs that do command a salary significantly above a living wage when I finally do get employment. I know that the minimum wage jobs many are desperately seeking just to be earning don’t actually pay enough to live on when you find one – or if they do supposedly ‘per hour’, they don’t come with any guarantees of those hours from one week to the next. I don’t want to bore you with the countless statistics that tell you how many 16-25 year olds are unemployed. What I’m concerned about is how this problem is making people feel.

Every rejection message digs away at your confidence, every unsuccessful interview makes you questions your own abilities, and every time I hear someone say ‘there was another candidate with more professional experience, would you consider doing an unpaid internship with us?’ I actually just want to cry. I’ve been working in office environments since I was temping at 16, I’ve volunteered since I was 12. I’m now 22. I’d like to turn around and ask how I’m meant to have more professional experience than somebody who’s been legally allowed to work for 4 times as long as me – but that would probably do nothing to help me get a job.

I even got turned down for a 3 month paid internship with that organisation I have volunteered for since I was 12 – apparently I didn’t have enough workplace experience… Now, sorry one moment, but I thought that was what an internship was designed for? What you actually wanted was a 3 month temp.

I know that when I fill out application forms, or answer questions in interviews, I sometimes sound a little desperate for a job. And I know that usually costs me the job. But for somebody who desperately wants to work and has been turned down so many times, it’s difficult to want to play this like it’s a game.

Lately I’ve found some employers have this little clause that gives me false expectations. There’s now a little check box that I see more and more: we guarantee an interview to any person with a disability who meets the minimum requirements of the role.  I am a person with disabilities – not significant enough to stop me working, but significant enough that I am affected by them. I have asthma, I have IBS (currently preventing me from eating dairy, egg, gluten, and red meat), I have dyspraxia, but it is dyslexia that I think disadvantages me in this process. Basically, I find filling out forms really difficult – the words and boxes swim across the page and it takes me as much effort to remember my first name as the date and awarding body of my Latin GCSE when it comes to write it in the right place.

So yes I’m grateful of any opportunity to hop to the front of the queue and try to show how I’m the best candidate during an interview. But then I wonder if this gives me false expectations. As I got a bye in the first round am I automatically seeded last before the interview begins? Would I have even been close to the short-list if there wasn’t this positive discrimination box to tick? I still have my doubts.

The disability doesn’t have to be specifically related to form filling, so there’s a big flaw in the concept. For example maybe I’ll find a form that lets you score points for every under-represented characteristic. Maybe something in the STEM industries: I’m female, check, multiple disabilities, check, LGBTQI+, check, went to an inner city primary school, check. Just got to keep my fingers crossed there’s no BME candidate to pip me at the post. Though then I’d in all likelihood end up in a misogynistic and xenophobic environment where actually I’d rather be unemployed than work for them. Let’s change the culture, not the application process. I remain on the fence about positive discrimination.

Time to get back on my bike. A way to make blogging into my own little business is just around the corner, maybe…

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