But Those Are Boys Pants...

I’ve come to realise that I want to dress like an 8 year old boy. It’s something that strikes me whenever we take a trip to a clothing store that caters for multiple ages and genders. And I think I’m probably achieving this look as I head out in the snow piling up from the blizzard Nemo. I know my utmost motivation is to be comfortable in what I’m wearing. But I’ve never quite figured how much this has to do with an outward expression of my gender identity, and how much it relates to one of my disabilities – dyspraxia. It often makes me feel uncomfortable in whatever I’m wearing (I have been known to get changed 4 or 5 times a day if I’m particularly anxious) and I wonder whether clothing designed for boys of that age is designed for a freedom of movement, hence its appeal. So to backtrack, my motivation from this blog post is the discovery of ‘boyfriend style’ boxer shorts as my new favourite form of underwear. I had previously been wearing men’s boxers as I find them comfortable and warm in a cold winter – though there is a need to size up to allow for female hips which leaves space elsewhere. My partner couldn’t understand my preference for this type of underwear and on a visit to Target I found women’s boxers in the US have much more generous sizing than I’ve ever found in the UK. I’m thankful of the discovery of warm, comfortable underwear that allows for hips with no extra space elsewhere. Though I don’t understand why it needs to be branded ‘boyfriend style’. Now let’s hope the realisation that there are women who aren’t stick thin who enjoy wearing this kind of underwear reaches the UK soon. I mean, even with my passion for their fashion, I am most definitely not the size of an 8 year old, regardless of gender. I wasn’t even the size of an 8 year old when I was 8 - as the giant in the midst of my rugby team photo from that season will testify. From an early age I was crossing those department boundaries, especially in search of shoes. The gendering of clothing is something that has never made sense to me. Yes, it is rather convenient to have underwear designed for the particular genitalia you have – it fits better. But every other dimension of a person varies so much that to say the type of clothing you wear is dictated by your genitalia is nonsensical. Clothing does far more than ‘fit’ though. Every garment makes a statement about your personality, your gender, your social reading of the occasion, wealth, class, taste and so much more – whether you consciously think about it or not. This is why I think uniformed youth organisations can play a huge role in challenging gender inequalities. Ever since the inception of guiding and scouting the uniform has been a tool for breaking down barriers of wealth and class. Other barriers are less successfully crossed – I always felt a little like the odd one out as I was a much larger 9 year old than the organisation clearly expected and I turned up each week in culottes that my mother had made especially for me. They were as closely matched to what the other girls wore, but still quite distinguishable. In early days, yes, the uniform was probably something of a trade-off – guides can wear something functional, but not too functional. You can hike as long as you can do it in a skirt down to your ankle. If I’d had to wear a little brown dress I probably wouldn’t have stuck with Brownies. So I should be thankful that I’m a child of the 1990’s, old enough to thank Jeff Banks for the introduction of hoodies. So my theory. When girls and young women turn up to guiding activities and don’t need to use their clothes to display their gender (and actually have that freedom to not have to behave in a way that would be deemed ‘feminine’), it gives them space to grow, to build confidence in new activities and realise their abilities. The operation of gender in a single-sex environment probably is more complex than this, but I still think it gives an important space. Being a girl guide taught me that I can achieve more if I wear sensible and appropriate clothing for the activity. If keeping myself warm in a Massachusetts winter means wearing men’s or ‘boyfriend’ underwear, then so be it.