Learning to Love

I was listening to the radio on my drive home from work and caught a news programme discussing whether signs of domestic abuse should be taught in schools. The governments response that it shouldn't be compulsory because 'teachers know their pupils better than politicians do' seems a little contradictory to the whole notion of the national curriculum we have for other subject areas. They featured a lesson in a Welsh school and the comments from the pupils seemed to show that they genuinely took on board the signs that a relationship isn't healthy, and the sources of support they could seek out should they ever end up in such a situation.

The image featuring in 'We Discover, We Grow'

I needed that kind of lesson when I was a teenager and I didn't get it. I fell outside of the formal education system from the age of 13, so even if it was compulsory in schools it wouldn't have reached me. But I still think all schools need to put the information on how to deal with an abusive relationship in the hands of their pupils. And we need to cover the subject elsewhere too.

I have been fully behind the WAGGGS 'Stop The Violence' campaign since its launch and I think non-formal education activities delivered outside the school setting have a tremendous impact - especially peer education. And we need to talk about this subject with boys to - else we put the whole responsibility for solving this tricky social issue on the shoulders of girls and young women.

The idea very much at the centre of the 'Stop The Violence' campaign is to end the silence and to talk about all forms of violence against girls and young women. To do that we need to have lots of little conversations, create lots of moments where people stop, think about the subject, and learn from it, facilitated in safe environments where possible.

I haven't quite figured out the wording of the caption, but one of the photos I'm including in the 'We Discover, We Grow' exhibition touches on the subject of how Girlguiding helped me build my confidence back up and seek support during and after being in a abusive relationship as a university student.

I did my Master's research on exhibitions about violence against women, and the idea of portraying survival instead of violence itself really resonated with me. That's why I chose the image of my valentine's day flowers from my, now, civil partner to show that I have been able to move on from that relationship, I've learnt how to be confident and develop trust in a healthy relationship, and that I've been able to learn what love is.

The credit has to go mostly to my wonderful partner, and the relationship we've developed where we can talk about these things openly. But the confidence in myself to start this relationship? That came from the experiences I had in guiding, especially in training to become a peer educator myself.